


say the words you want to say tomorrow

by shininggods (theweirdesthingss), theweirdesthingss



Series: the words you left behind become a poem, become a song [1]
Category: NU'EST
Genre: 2hyun - Freeform, Also fluff, Angst, Fear of Death, I resorted to writing my own bc I'm thirsty for more but really I'm shit at this, M/M, Mention of Death, Soul Mate AU, love u whoever writes more 2hyun!, so someone save the tag, someone pls write more 2hyun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-27 15:48:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18742141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theweirdesthingss/pseuds/shininggods, https://archiveofourown.org/users/theweirdesthingss/pseuds/theweirdesthingss
Summary: because today, Jonghyun would be safe.today, Jonghyun is not leaving.today, Jonghyun will stay here.today, Jonghyun is alive.or the soul mate au where the last words of your soul mate before they die gets tattooed on you





	say the words you want to say tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta-ed. i was planning to make this more angsty but it became too fluffy in the end pls blame my ever-changing mood for the last month. i take constructive criticisms. (also i kind of forgot where i took the title from but it's from a song which i'm not sure whether from nu'est themselves or from day6 idk honestly my life is a mess)

'I love you'

So cliché. Minhyun continuously rubs the three words etched on his wrist, the black ink a stark contrast against his milky white skin. The words were written in a simple font with a very boring color and barely even larger than one inch yet-

Yet, these words will decide when a person will die.

Such big responsibility for a very small thing. Such stupidity, such foolishness, such... Such unfairness.

"You're staring at it again," Jonghyun says, plopping down next to him.

Minhyun instinctively purses his lips, looking at the other man's clothes.

Jonghyun raises his hands up, "I've already changed into clean clothes, see?"

Minhyun runs his eyes on Jonghyun's clothes, a pair of cotton pajama and an old ratty t-shirt that they both know he will take off later. Whether it's because Jonghyun just doesn't really sleep with a shirt on or because they'll be doing other activities other than sleeping, Minhyun doesn't know. (Jonghyun does, though. Just seeing Minhyun's glazed eyes on the tattoo on his wrist means that they will definitely be doing other activities than sleeping tonight since he needs to distract him. That and maybe also because Minhyun is just too sinfully beautiful.)

He hums in response after confirming that yes, Jonghyun did change already, before focusing his attention back to the tattoo. He squints at it, as if it was the sole reason people are poor, the nature is suffering, and the wars never stop. Maybe it actually is the reason, Minhyun thinks. Such tattoo, a harbinger of death, can always be doubtful.

His musing is interrupted when Jonghyun suddenly wraps his hands on his wrist, bringing it down on his lap and leans towards him.

"Stop overthinking," he whispers, before capturing Minhyun's lips.

Jonghyun have always tasted sweet. The guy loves sweet foods and thus, always snacks on some whatever it is he's doing. His lips were so soft against Minhyun's and so warm and so nice and Minhyun thought of what if...

What would happen then? Will Minhyun never feel such tenderness again? Will Minhyun never taste the sweetness again?

Will Minhyun even be able to eat any kind of sweets again?

His train of thought is, once again, interrupted by Jonghyun when he suddenly pulls away, a pout on his lips.

"Min, I can hear you thinking even while we're kissing. That's not nice!"

Jonghyun's voice is petulant, and he crossed his arms in front of him. Minhyun certainly has to make it up to him or else he'll have a Jonghyun with tantrums in his hands.

"I'm sorry Jjuya, come here let me make it up to you."

Jonghyun's lips touches every spot and nook of Minhyun's body that night, and if he had set aside a few more kisses for the taller man's wrist- then no one can blame him.

Jonghyun does know how to distract Minhyun.

* * *

 

The coffee shop is nearly empty, there are only a total of 5 customers including Minhyun and Minki. The barista on the counter is busying herself with continuously wiping the counter and the top of glass shelf containing different pastries even though it already probably is clean on a regular person's standards. The barista is probably just bored; Minhyun approves with the cleanliness nevertheless.

He turned his attention towards his phone, looking at his Instagram for the sake of doing something.

"It's ridiculous," Minki comments, his eyes still trained on the magazine he's holding.

"What is?" Minhyun asks, confused, his eyes never leaving his phone in hand.

It has always been like this between the two of them- talking without looking, agreeing to meet up somewhere only to end up focusing on other things, together physically but not really mentally.

"You and Jonghyun," Minki answers without looking up, half gesturing to wherever he thinks the general direction of Minhyun was. "It's ridiculous and stupid."

Minhyun's fingers hovers for a few seconds on his phone screen, suddenly unable to register what he's looking at, letting his eyes roam over and over on whatever it is that is posted on his dashboard. His brain is suddenly malfunctioning because of what Minki said. It's an old topic, one that other people never managed to touch on whenever they're talking to Minhyun. Minki, however, doesn't seem phased by it. It's an old conversation- an old argument, really- between them.

"How many times to I have to tell you Ren, we're fine. Our relationship is just fine."

Minki just hums in response. Minhyun knows it's not the end of it.

Two people exits the coffee shop as a new one enters. The barista takes the new customer's order, serves it in under 7 minutes, and goes back to wiping the counter.

Life goes on and Minhyun feels bitter.

Minki can make his world stop just by pointing out the same old issue he has with Minhyun's and Jonghyun's relationship yet the world continues to revolve, as if it isn't unfair that Minhyun can't hear Jonghyun say how much he loves him.

He clicks his tongue and continued browsing his Instagram feed.

* * *

'I will wait for you'

Sometimes, Minhyun thinks that it's so easy for Minki to push him because the words on his collarbone aren't as brutal as the ones on his wrist but then he remembers the words 'don't leave' on Dongho's thigh and he shivers.

Knowing what your soul mate's last words to you before they die is torture, but knowing you're the one who's gonna be left behind is hell.

* * *

"Min, I lo-"

"No."

 

//

 

"You really do know how to make me happy, Minhyun-ah... I love -"

"Shhh."

 

//

 

"I love y-"

He cuts Jonghyun off with a kiss.

* * *

Sometimes-

Sometimes, it's easy.

Sometimes-

Most of the time it's not.

When Jonghyun is happy, he tends to burst in excitement, spewing off anything and everything he wants to say to Minhyun to convey his happiness. Minhyun can't find it in him to just suddenly cut off his happy rambling but he has to. He has to.

When Jonghyun gets emotional, he tends to pepper Minhyun with kisses all over his face. All the while, peppering him with sweet words as well. Minhyun loves being spoiled by Jonghyun but sometimes, he has to stop him from saying anything else. He has to.

When Jonghyun gets angry, he tends to have no brain-to-mouth filter. And it honestly hurts Minhyun because Jonghyun never gets angry and the only reason he does is when he feels frustrated that he can't express his love for Minhyun in words and-

"You're so fucking special Minhyun, you don't deserve this! You deserve to hear those words a thousand times everyday, you deserve to know how much I care for you. I know they're just three words that are often thrown around by other people, too much that sometimes it feels like it doesn't mean the way it should anymore, but so what? You deserve to have those scenes in the movies we see. You deserve to hear that I don't just like you. Damn it I know actions speak louder than words but c'mon Minhyun-ah, who in their goddamn right mind wouldn't love to hear that they are loved?"

And Minhyun gets it. He gets it and he doesn't like it when Jonghyun is crying and he doesn't like it when Jonghyun feels like he fails at expressing how much he loves Minhyun in words because-

"Don't you get it Jonghyun-ah? You don't have to say those three words at all because what you just said to me already lets me hear how much I am loved by you. You don't have to say those words. Not at all."

* * *

Here's the thing, once people meet their soul mates, a random part of their bodies get tattooed with the last words that they will hear from the said soul mates before they die. And sometimes-

Minhyun sometimes wish that he was born in a different universe. A universe when you don't have to be burdened with such stupid words. A universe that doesn't make you afraid of combined letters etched on your skin. A universe that doesn't constantly remind you of your lover's death.

Because this universe is too cruel for him. Because this universe is too playful for him. Because this universe is just plain too much for him.

Jonghyun's his soul mate; surely he'll still be even if they're in a different universe, right?

* * *

"Heard the three words yet, Min?"

Minhyun rolls his eyes, "Wow, what a conversation starter, Minki."

Minkis just hums, focusing on sipping his drink after settling on the seat in front of Minhyun.

It's Thursday, and Thursdays means a weekly catch up between them. Which means randomly picking up one of the five coffee shops closest to their apartments in the city. Which means two to three hours of focusing on other things instead of each other. Which means a short conversation every 30 minutes or so. Which means Minki will bring up a topic that they always have whenever they meet.

"Have you ever thought about it?" Minki asks.

"What?" Minhyun asks back, his eyes trained on the book he's been trying to finish since last week. Life keeps getting in the way and he just really wants to finish the damn book.

He didn't hear an answer for a minute or so, prompting him to look up only to realise that Minki isn't focused on a magazine or his phone. His focus is on Minhyun and their conversation. And he'd been waiting for Minhyun to look up so they can properly talk.

Minhyun sighs and puts down his book, crossing his legs. "What?"

"Dongho said he loves me earlier, before I left. He also said 'I love you' to me right before we slept last night. He says he loves me every time he leaves for work."

Minhyun sighs again. "Just spit it out."

"Don't you want to hear that?" Minki asks, "Don't you want to hear Jonghyun saying he loves you?"

Minhyun looks down, surprised at how direct Minki is being at the moment. The other man usually just lets Minhyun be, and if he ever approaches the topic, he's never questioned Minhyun head-on like this. Minhyun stubbornly looks down, choosing to pick on a loose thread of the over-sized sweater he's wearing, and not answering.

He doesn't think he can, anyway. Not when his throat is constricting and he feels his chest tightening and his stomach feels like it's in knots.

"Min, don't you think it's better to hear from him that he loves you for every single time in your lives that he can than not hearing it at all unless when he's about to die? Don't you think it's better to hear you're loved than cower from these words until it's too late?"

* * *

Despite not letting Jonghyun tell him those three words, Minhyun never fails to say it to him every time he has the chance. It fills him with great joy whenever he says it to the older, especially when Jonghyun shows him that small soft smile of his. It sounds cliché but it makes his stomach flutter.

"Minhyun-ah, look at this. Aron-hyung told me that the lyrics are good enough but I feel like it's still lacking? I don't want to give the girls a mediocre song, especially if Dongho is the one who will compose and produce it."

Minhyun stares at his fiancé's face, expression of being lost and determined mixing with worry showing. He loves it whenever Jonghyun talks about his work, whenever his passion is showing through. He would've felt guilty for not paying more attention to whatever the other is saying if he wasn't so sure Jonghyun's just being his perfectionist self, always thinking his works aren't good enough when in fact, most of the songs he wrote or composed for different groups are always number one in the charts, winning different awards here and there.

"Jju," he says, effectively cutting off Jonghyun's worried rambling. "I think it's already perfect."

Jonghyun purses his lips but opens it again, his eyebrows furrowed. "Really? You haven't even seen it yet."

"I actually already did. Aron-hyung took a picture of it and sent it to me yesterday, he was gushing about how great it was. Besides, I don't need to see it to know it's already perfect anyway."

Jonghyun looks surprised, he didn't know Aron took a photo of the song. He also looks pleased, which means Minhyun already won this matter.

"He was gushing? Really? I thought he was just trying to, I don't know, praise me because I'm his friend or something..."

This made Minhyun laugh, his fondness for Jonghyun growing bigger and bigger and he's honestly perplexed how it could be any bigger when he's already so fond of the man.

"Yah, you foolish man. You think Aron-hyun will ever do that? He's serious when it comes to work, you know that. You're so precious Jonghyun-ah, I wish you could see that yourself. I love you."

Jonghyun grins widely at him as he replies with, "I know."

Minhyun captures Jonghyun's lips with his own making the older smile.

Jonghyun may not be allowed by Minhyun to say those three little words back but that doesn't mean he can't show how much he loves and appreciates Minhyun though. He gently pushes the younger on his back as he hovers above him. His right hand already under Minhyun's shirt, while his left hand fumbles with the younger's pants.

The paper containing the lyrics of his new soon-to-be chart-topping song lays forgotten on the bedside table.

 

//

 

Minhyun watches as Jonghyun's chest falls and rises, his steady and slow breathe the only sound in their bedroom. His mouth is slightly open, as his nose scrunches at whatever it is he's currently dreaming about.

Minhyun carefully touches his eyebrows down to his eyelashes to his nose and finally to his lips. His fingers traced the older's face, carefully and slowly, as if even just a little harder would break the handsome face he so, so loves.

"I love you, Jonghyun."

He chuckles softly as he heard what seem to be a quiet "I know" from Jonghyun.

 

//

 

Jonghyun's laugh is the first thing he hears as he entered their apartment, followed by a bark from their german shepherd dog, Coco.

He carefully drops his briefcase on their sofa, leaning on the doorway with a smile on his face, watching as his husband lays on the ground with Coco on top of him, nuzzling and licking his face all over.

Jonghyun continues to laugh, trying to get the dog off him playfully, turning his head so Coco licks his neck instead of his face. He notices Minhyun who's just watching them both, with a fond expression on his face.

"Minnie, help me please! Coco won't let me get up!"

Minhyun hums, putting his finger on his lips as if thinking. "Nah, the moment Coco lets go of you, you'll just go straight to hugging me. I don't want to be covered with the dog's saliva as well."

Jonghyun looks betrayed but he was interrupted as he shrieks and laughs because Coco nuzzles his neck and proceeds to lay down on his chest contently.

"Yah, Coco! Look, there's Daddy! Why don't you pepper him with your love and kisses as well?"

Minhyun immediately straightens up the moment Coco follows Jonghyun's finger pointing at him. He glares at the older only to for Jonghyun to flash his tongue at him.

"Kim Jonghyun, I swear to God-"

His threat is cut short when Coco runs to him and throws all of his 44 kilograms self to Minhyun, followed by Jonghyun's battle cry as he, too, jumps towards Minhyun.

"Jonghyun!"

Minhyun ends up screaming and laughing loudly as he ends up laying on the floor, this time around, with Jonghyun sitting on his hips, tickling all the senses out of Minhyun.

"Let me go, Jjong! Coco! Yah!"

Jonghyun falters for a millisecond, giving Minhyun the window of opportunity. He manages to flip them over, Coco still getting excited and running all around them. Jonghyun laughs over and over again, not knowing if he should stop Coco from running his tongue all over his face or if he should try to pry away Minhyun's hands tickling him on his side.

They only stopped when Coco decides to run towards the kitchen, probably to drink water. Jonghyun is still laughing as Minhyun is trying to catch his breath. He looks at Jonghyun's face full of bliss. His eyes close, his mouth open letting out a melodious laugh ringing inside their apartment, and his cheeks red.

Jonghyun is so, so beautiful.

Minhyun feels his heart clench at the wonder right in front of him, all his for the taking. This person is his soulmate. This person is the one he loves and loves him as much, if not even more, back. This person is his and he is this person's. They belong with each other and oh, what a precious precious time to be alive.

"Jonghyun-ah, I must have saved the world or did a huge heroic act in my past life in order to deserve you, didn't I?"

As he spoke, Jonghyun stops laughing to listen to him. His smile growing fonder and fonder as Minhyun voices out his thoughts.

"I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. I can't believe you're mine. This," Minhyun says, pointing at his eyes, "and this," his nose, "and this," his lips, "are mine. All mine. I love you so much. I can't believe it. I can't believe I get to say Kim Jonghyun is mine, is my soul mate. I feel like I am being spoiled rotten by whoever out there that gets to decide who is made for who because he chose me for you. What an honor it is to love and be loved by you. I'm gonna be forever thankful for you."

Jonghyun feels himself tear up because of how loved he feels right now. He opened his mouth to say something but fails to do so as he feels like there are no words that can express how much he adores Minhyun back.

Minhyun settles on Jonghyun, making himself more comfortable on top of the other man. His eyes and fingers are running on Jonghyun's face (a favourite past time of his), letting himself be filled with thoughts of how dear and important Jonghyun is for him. He startles when he felt Jonghyun's fingers suddenly caressing his cheeks, then going up to pick up a few stray of Minhyun's hair.

"I know, Minhyunnie. And I feel the same towards you. Maybe we both saved the world in one of our past lives, otherwise I can't think of any reason why fate would give me someone like you. I am blessed with you, my love."

Jonghyun then cupped Minhyun's face, gently pulling it down to softly kiss his lips.

"You are a blessing to me."

* * *

Of course Minhyun wants to hear Jonghyun say 'I love you' to him directly. It's just like what Minki and Jonghyun said, who in their right mind wouldn't want to hear from their soul mate that they love him? No one.

Not even Minhyun.

But whenever he thinks of the possible consequences, of the possible things that could happen right after those three simple words leave Jonghyun's mouth, his resolve grows stronger once more.

He remembers why, in the first place, he refuses to hear those words. He reminds himself that the want to hear 'I love you' from Jonghyun is far smaller than the want to have a peaceful mind because today, Jonghyun would be safe.

Today, Jonghyun is not leaving.

Today, Jonghyun will stay here.

Today, Jonghyun is alive.

And he will continue to be so because Minhyun didn't let him utter those three cursed words.

Minhyun would rather have a Jonghyun who is alive than a Jonghyun who is on the verge of being gone.

Besides, he thinks that being called a 'blessing' is enough anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> there's going to be a part two and three let's all pray to our gods that i get to finish both within this month. meanwhile, help me keep the 2hyun tag here in ao3 alive by sending me any prompt via the following accounts:
> 
> twitter: @shininggods  
> curiouscat: @shininggods  
> tumblr: @incorrectnu-est
> 
> (ps: im not that active on twt but that's because i have zero mutuals maybe i'll be more active if i get to know more people there so hit me up! [im begging pls i have no friends])
> 
> (pps. my tumblr is an incorrect nuest acct so maybe you would like to check it out, reblog or like some posts if they made you laugh, and maybe even submit incorrect quotes!)


End file.
